Why don’t you show up for yourself? The trouble with accountability

Accountability. You can’t go on any page on the Internet pertaining to personal growth without coming across tips on holding yourself accountable. Paying someone to help you. Promising a friend you’ll meet them at the gym. Proclaiming on social media you’ll be a high flying business owner by December 2019.

Most of us can and do benefit from some level of accountability. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t use it – I 100% skip the gym less because I go with Adam. And the main reason clients come to me for coaching is they want some level of accountability for their goals and personal growth. 

We have a lot to thank accountability for. It’s often the motivation to not give up facing those first hurdles, to overcome adversity and to reach amazing goals. 

But what do we do, how do we show up, when nobody’s watching? When nobody’s counting on you, except yourself? 

I’ve had so many conversations with people along the lines of – “I won’t do it unless someone’s relying on me” and especially hearing this from the women I work with, who are often on a journey to being more selfish, to accepting their worth, to carving out time just for them.

I can’t help but wonder lately…

Is our reliance on accountability moving us further away from our self-love practice? Is our need to be needed, to be of benefit to someone else, indicative of how much we need a self-love practice in the first place? Are we not worthy of doing awesome sh*t all on our own?!

How do you show up for yourself when nobody’s watching? 

This is such a powerful question to ask.

The only person you will wake up with everyday from birth to death on this Earth is you. 

Why not show up for you? 

Why not make healthy, loving choices for you, because you know it’ll make you feel good? 

Why not work towards your goal today, not because your coach told you to, but because you know you deserve happiness and fulfilment? 

These are thoughts flying through my head daily at the moment, and I just had to share. This post is NOT in any way supposed to make people feel guilty if they feel they need accountability. We can all benefit from accountability. It’s just a thought I’ve been pondering a lot lately. As with anything, if this unearths something in your intuition, just sit with these questions and see what comes up for you. You might be surprised at how much baggage you end up digging up – perhaps there’s some beliefs here around worth and self love. If that’s the case, journal through it. Meditate through it. Council through it if you need to. Just love yourself through it.

Ask yourself right now – how can I show up for myself today? Let me know what comes up!

PS – I also filmed a video on this topic! If you’d like to watch, here it is