Self-care is an inside job. But when you spend all day running around after other people, with barely a moment to yourself, it can be tricky to fit that me-time in. These are simple but powerful questions to ask yourself daily for more connection, health and happiness.
If I’m feeling a bit off-kilter, I know that something on this list likely needs addressing.
Daily Checklist for Connection, Health and Happiness
Have I done something that’s just for myself today?
So often our day revolves around the needs and desires of other people. It’s important to take even just a small moment in your day to do something that’s purely for you and your benefit. That looks different on a daily basis, but it’s a conscious choice I invite you to make each day.
Have I had fun today?
When we’re busy, we often put fun, creativity and play at the bottom of our priority list. Where’s the joy in that? Life is for living and if we’re not actively pursuing a life that makes us smile and laugh out loud, then what’s the point?!
Whether you choose not to take yourself too seriously in a meeting and crack a joke, or make time for a creative outlet in the evening, there are so many ways to incorporate more play and creativity into your day.
Recently, I’ve been actively trying to just have more fun in my business. As powerful as our work is, it’s always worth reminding ourselves that we’re not curing cancer. We’re not performing life-saving brain surgery*. And if we don’t reply to that email, nobody will die. If Instagram crashes, your meetings cancelled, your boss tells you off, someone messes up – nobody has died.
This realisation has helped me learn from mistakes, not beat myself up and enjoy my work so much more.
*(Of course – even if your profession is very serious and life or death, I’m sure you can appreciate the necessity to have these moments of comic relief, fun and joy throughout the day, even more so than the rest of us! PS – you fucking rock)
Have I experienced pleasure today?
Particularly as women, I feel like we’re conditioned to not prioritise our own pleasure. If we think about the stigma surrounding pleasure, it’s no wonder many of us feel guilty for taking time for ourselves or attach shame and moral judgement to enjoying a chocolate bar or just sitting down and doing nothing after a long day!
I’ve erased the term ‘guilty pleasure’ from my vocabulary. If it’s safe, healthy and mindful pleasure, then there are zero reasons to feel guilty.
So let’s get the obvious out the way. We’re all adults here. Sex is a great way to allow yourself pleasure, whether you’re in a relationship or going solo. That’s another post for another day. 😉
I also invite you to the think outside the obvious.
- Take a moment in the morning to really sip and enjoy your cup of tea or coffee. Put it in your favourite mug.
- Stop during the food shop and buy yourself that new notebook that makes you smile, fresh flowers, or your favourite chocolate bar.
- Sit down to eat your meal and savour the flavours.
- Take a moment to look up and look around on your daily walk or commute.
- Hug your partner for that extra few seconds.
- Take an extra minute to really massage your moisturiser in.
- Spray your favourite perfume.
- Light a candle.
- Stand up from your desk and take a big stretch after a hard task.
Doing these small and seemingly insignificant things throughout the day, just because they bring you joy and pleasure, will transform your day and your life. This attitude to life has shaped my self-love journey, even on the days where I feel down in the dumps.
Have I connected with someone else today?
As I mentioned in my daily self-care checklist, connecting with other people is such an underrated part of self-care.
Don’t get me wrong, I love alone time. Me time. Selfish time. It’s necessary and it’s one of my favourite things to do (carry on reading for more on that).
But have you noticed how isolated, lonely and in your own head you can feel if you’ve not spent time with other people? We can fall into the depths of comparison, jealousy, self-loathing, limiting beliefs and a whole host of crappy things when we spend too much time with our own thoughts.
Often, it just takes reaching out to someone else to get the boost you need.
Not only on the hard days but every day. Surrounding myself with positive people who inspire, uplift and challenge me makes my life so much more fulfilling.
Likewise, how draining can it be if you’re surrounded by people you don’t connect with? Connection is a massively overlooked part of self-care.
Sometimes we need to get outside of ourselves.
Have I communicated my needs and desires today?
This is a kicker. Because this is a part of self-care that isn’t fun, glamorous or sexy.
You can take all the time in the world for bubble baths, meditation and yoga, but if you’re not setting boundaries, communicating your needs or standing up for yourself in your life, then you’re always selling yourself short.
Sometimes, self-care looks like difficult conversations.
- “I’m not well.”
- “I’m not happy.”
- “I think I need help.”
- “I feel hurt.”
- “This isn’t right.”
You know those conversations. When you think about what you really wanna say, every inch of your body wants to run away, kicking and screaming? Lump in your throat, sweaty palms, the lot?
To stand up for yourself, to speak your truth, to ask for help, is the ultimate self-care.
And it doesn’t always have to be a really big, scary thing (although for many of us, it is at times). It could be asking for help or standing up for your needs in small ways.
“Thank you for thinking of me, but I won’t be able to make it.”
“I’ve actually had a crappy day. And yes, I ‘d love to talk about it.”
“Please can you help me with this? I’m struggling this week”
Look at these as small wins, and small milestones. Because the more we learn to communicate, the more our relationship with ourselves and others can thrive.
Have I spent time alone in reflection today?
Often, we get caught up in the busyness of life and the noise of the outside world, we forget to check in with ourselves.
A nasty habit to fall into is scrolling through social media, seeking answers from other people to questions that we should be asking ourselves.
- “What’s my purpose in life?”
- “What am I feeling called to do right now?”
- “What’s my next step?”
- “How do I really feel about this situation?”
- “What’s the best decision for me?”
Self-awareness is a life skill that goes hand in hand with self-care. When we understand ourselves on a deeper level, we can make decisions that lead us to our happiest, healthiest self. If we’re not allowing ourselves that time in the day, it’s almost impossible for that inner voice to be heard amongst the noise.
Whether it’s 10 minutes meditation in the morning, going for a run or having a hobby that you love to do by yourself, it’s vital to carve out some me-time and pause the noise for a moment in your day.
Ask yourself these questions daily for the next few days. What comes up?
Which one are you not prioritising in your daily life?
Leave a comment below and let me know the ONE thing you’re going to do this week to make it up to yourself.
If you’d prefer to chat privately, you can DM me on Instagram or email firstname.lastname@example.org
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I’m Kat, a women’s life coach dedicated to empowering YOU to put yourself first so you can achieve your goals (and live your besssst life!!) 🙌🏼
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