Cultivating self love on Valentine’s Day

It’s such a cliché at this point, but cultivating self-love on Valentine’s Day is just as, if not kinda (way) more important, than expressing love to others. Why? Because in the words of icon RuPaul…

If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?!

That doesn’t mean it’s easy! So today I wanted to share some non-cliché tips on cultivating self-love, for Valentine’s Day and every other day of the year. ❤️

Don’t be a d*ck

Think back to the last thought you had berating yourself. Whether you forgot something, did something wrong or slipped up. Would you say those words to your one true love? No you would not, and if you would – they’d hopefully be running out the door before you could even say sorry!

So why are we such d*cks to ourselves?!

The quickest way to cultivate self-love is cutting that sh*t out. Catch that thought and turn it around. Choose to be accepting of yourself. Own your mistakes without beating yourself up. Sometimes I’ll even say, “no Kat!” out loud if I start listening to that mean voice. Stop it in its tracks, flip it on its head and say something positive.

This doesn’t mean pretending everything’s okay. A good friend or partner wouldn’t do that. What they would say is,

“Okay, everybody makes mistakes. Let’s take a breather and see how we can fix this situation. Don’t be so bloody hard on yourself!”

Get Creative

What did you love doing as a kid, that you don’t make time for as an adult?

For various reasons, once we head into the world of adulting, we leave behind a world of creativity, fun and mental freedom. Everything we do has to be productive, serious, earn us money or be somehow deemed a worthy task. Gone are the days where we do stuff just for fun.

Creative hobbies make for happier, healthier adult. Creativity is a huge part of self-care and when you feel excited by your life, this whole self-love thing feels way easier to nail.

If you don’t already, make sure you have a creative outlet in your life that you enjoy. If you already do, make sure you’re carving out time for it.

For me, creativity comes in many forms but some of my childhood (and adulthood) favourites are: writing, singing, dancing, daydreaming and reading.

Do scary things

I’ve really been enjoying Vic Spence’s Instagram Stories recently. Not only is she a great, positive energy to have in your feed (with loads more self-love tips!) but recently, she’s taken up long-distance running and marathon training. Now the thing is, Vic openly admits she hates running. Which might make you think, why is she bothering with it?!

It’s got me thinking a lot about how multi-faceted self-care can be. Self-care isn’t always bubble baths, puppy cuddles and face masks (although all those things are needed from time to time!)

Self-care is nurturing your physical, mental and emotional health. Sometimes, that means doing really uncomfortable things because you know it’s good for you. Good for your comfort zone, good for your goals, good for your health.

In Vic’s example, does she feel like running? Probably not. But does she know that running will nurture her physically and emotionally when it comes to the challenging goals she’s set herself? Yes!

So yeah, buy yourself flowers this V Day. Eat your fave chocolate or have a bubble bath. But if you’ve been holding yourself back from a goal that scares the sh*t out of you, get out of your own way and for the sake of your personal growth, take the next brave step!

If you’re on a journey to cultivate self-love, I’d love to hear about your tips and practices. Especially if they’re a bit outside the box. Comment below or DM me on Instagram 💕