Answer this honestly: How much of your life is spent living for other people? Most of us spend all day looking out for others. Whether that’s looking after our loved ones, working hard for other people at work, and taking on commitments and responsibilities that other people require from us. I truly believe that to give generously and continue to be of service in our work and life, you must be selfish with your time.
To get to the root of this, I think it’s important to reflect on your priorities and get real about the things you’re saying yes to, that just aren’t on that list of priorities.
Example: Let’s say you work 9-5 and want to quit your job to pursue your new business.
You’re struggling to work on that as a side hustle outside of work because you’re:
- Saying yes to requests and favours, again and again, from certain family members
- Saying yes to scrolling on Instagram for an hour
- Saying yes to answering work emails in the evening
Whatever it is that is pulling you away from that important task, is putting you in a position where you’re not putting yourself first. You’re not putting your personal goals at the top of your priorities list.
When we get crystal clear on what is a priority for us and, more importantly, what isn’t, we can become laser-focused in the pursuit of our goals.
This is why I love the key areas of focus in my Goal Setting Workbook (2020 version is coming!) When we know for certain what is the most important areas of our life, we can consciously choose to say no to other things.
In the above example, the key area of focus should be the business. Outside of any immediate priorities (e.g. family, health and of course, going to work and paying the bills) you should be putting those side hustle tasks at the top of your to-do list.
Not extra projects at work. Not Instagram scrolling. Not random requests from friends and family. You and your goals.
If there’s anything I could leave you with today, it’s this: Nobody and I mean nobody, is gonna work on your goals for you.
If you don’t choose to put yourself first, you’ll always be bottom of the priorities list.
Decide today to be selfish with your time.
I’m crystal clear on what’s important to me:
- Spending quality time with my inner circle: my partner, my immediate family, my closest friends
- My incredible clients and the growth of my business (my personal goal)
- My health and wellbeing
Everything else? Can wait. Until I’m certain that I’ve dedicated time to each of those 3 things in a week, I can confidently say no to any other task, offers, requests, favours, invitations or other things that come up.
So yes, that means not replying to every single email, or saying yes to every single opportunity. Yes, that means spending some evenings and weekends working. Yes, that means (seemingly) being the only 25-year-old in the world who doesn’t watch Love Island. Yes, that means having to say no to fun invitations or crazy nights out. Yes, that means being super strict with myself and what I’m spending my time on.
But I’m okay with that. Because I can go to sleep every night knowing that I’m healthy and happy, I’m of service to my loved ones and my community and I’m working towards my dream and the vision I have for my life.
Do you want that feeling when your head hits the pillow?
If so, you need to be selfish with your time.
Be honest and journal the following questions:
- What are you spending too much time on recently that’s taking away from your true priorities?
- How can you make sure your main priorities are accounted for this week?
- What can you say no to more often?
I’d be so interested to hear any takeaways and lightbulb moments you’ve had from this post! Please comment below or if you’d prefer to speak privately, you can DM me on Instagram or email firstname.lastname@example.org
Hello! I’m Kat, women’s life coach dedicated to inspiring you to put yourself first and achieve your goals. On this site, you’ll find tons of support, resources and inspiration to set and achieve your goals and finally start putting yourself first.
Click here to find out more about me. Ready to put yourself first? Book your FREE 30-minute discovery session and find out more about 1:1 coaching today.